John Gruber is a Yankees Fan

And school happened. Then sick happened. And ultimate happens.

Whatever, I don't need to justify myself to you people.

It's playoff baseball time and Gruber knows where it's at.

See you soon.

Halo 3: ODST - Live-Action Trailer

More Halo 3: ODST News & Previews

My god yes. I was going to go to sleep and now I will be up watching Halo videos all night.

Maybe I will have to git me some ODST after seeing how sweet this looks. Plus with Sarge as a playable option I've been thinkin about pulling the trigger on that pre-order.

Food Porn [SFW, seriously]

Let's be honest. For the average 20-something year old college male, there are few things he thinks about more than sex and food. While the purveyors of FoodPornDaily.com don't include any ladies with loose.... morals, it does include orgasmic hi-resolution closeups of food spreads made to make you drool. After looking at this site, I've begun to understand just about what George Costanza was feeling.

Pastrami truly may be the most sensual of the salted and cured meats.

PS Check out the sweet recipes section and maybe make a home movie.

Hitler Sex Tape... NSFW I guess...

Yea you read that right. Although I am just slightly exaggerating about what the video's actually about. The sad part is I'm only slightly exaggerating about its contents.

This video is actually a commercial for AIDS (specifically, the prevention of AIDS). Apparently the easy-to-remember AIDS-fighting-website-with-hyphens site, Aids-Is-A-Mass-Murderer.com has not only taken my idea for a History Channel commercial, but is now equating Hitler and AIDS, urging people to protect themselves when blitzing the peaceful ham nation with their sour kielbasa having sex.

This is all part of a larger marketing campaign that, reports the Telegraph, includes

poster adverts of Saddam Hussein and Joseph Stalin, and a radio spot that re-works a famous speech by Joseph Goebbels, the Nazi propagandist.

While I approve of the message, watching the former-führer and his axis-of-evil buddies in the throes of evil ecstasy doesn't exactly rev my engine.

[Via the Telegraph]

Lazor Art

Last time I was thinking of a medium through which to express my artistic talents, I had a similar idea to this using lasers on the moon. This guy, however, have beaten me to the punch and are using lasers on MONEY.

The artist is tattoo-ist Scott Campbell, and he uses some sort of super laser from his orbital base to cut these awesome designs into stacks of bills. These are just two that I liked, there is a whole gallery of such at his portfolio that are certainly worth a gander so long as this technology doesn't fall into the wrong hands.

Preach, o Internets

I found this on the internet.

It is accurate.

Snow in August

WELL, Gizmodo certainly has its boner-goggles on about Snow Leopard (officially available today), they've also compiled a sweet list of reviews and brief summaries of such to give you a well rounded opinion.... of how awesome Snow Leopard will be.

I've already pre-ordered mine because I'm a winner. Don't forget that it turns out you don't actually need the big version, and can just buy the upgrade and it will work perfectly, despite Amazon's upgrade path warning.

Browse Different, and FASTER, with SmarterFox

In the world of Firefox extensions and addons, there are about a million to choose from. Most do trivially convenient things like running background scripts, adding toolbars, or wasting decades of your life.

Beyond the cleaner-uppers like Adblock Plus (which if you don't have, you need immediately), there are few that actually make a noticeable difference in the way Firefox approaches the internet.

That is why I am so impressed with SmarterFox. This add-on really has made a distinct difference in the way that I use the internet and even how I physically view pages.

Letter 1
The first thing you will notice is the popup-widget.



When you select any text (that is not in an editable box), click your selction and up will pop this customizable widget that allows you Wiki, YouTube, Google, and even Twitter search the selected link. You can also tweet the selected text directly.

Now to be honest, the idea of something like this popping up all the time when i'm bored and fidgeting with text seemed annoying at first. I don't wikipedia stuff that often anyway right? Wrong.

The first time I actually used the popup widget was a revelation . I had already copied it, and gotten read to cmnd+t,v, return when I realize NO. I can just click twice and I'm there.

Brilliant.

Number B
Multiple Page Scrolling.

It's. The. Tits.

Instead of having to click through multiple pages, or find the little 'Next' or '234' numbers, SmarterFox just lets you scroll through each page. At the bottom of each page you get a little page-break and then the next beings immediately:



Again, I was thrown off at first, but once you get used to it, this becomes the largest, most lifestyle-changing feature of SmarterFox. Never again will I search through 20 pages of Amazon list to find the right thing, or worry about narrowing my stock-image search parameters more. Whatever it is you scroll for, SmarterFox is tanfastic.

Thirdly
Awesomebar.

So Firefox 3 has recently been getting some *ahem* flack from its more... privacy minded users, but the additions to the Awesomebar that come with SmarterFox are just sweetness.



I haven't had a chance to fully investigate the depths of this awesomeness but, for example, typing "mail" into my address bar no longer just offers me to links including the word "mail", but also gives me options like links to UPS.com, and even typing "Chinese Food" gives me options like Panda Express and general victories like HowToOrderChineseFood.com.

Ok, so it's not exactly perfect, but it is incredibly useful and takes the awesomebar to a whole new level.

------------

There are a few features beyond that pile of success that I haven't had time to mention. For example the quick-launch tool (pictured at top), while a bit redundant what with the existence of bookmarks and everything, is still very pretty to look at and also is nice to quick-key things. Just choose a hotkey to bring it up, then hit the corresponding key on the list to head to that site. It is a little slow in reaction however, and doesn't seem to like it when you're in an editable text-box.


There is also the neat little "related links" bar it ads into Wikipedia itself which I can see being quite helpful.

Anyway, for a full list of features check out the site.

But if you're still reading at this point, you may as well download the damn thing and try it for yourself.

Get it from Mozilla here.
Official Site.

Crazy Mozy Chart: Physical Storage vs. Digital Storage

Physical Storage vs. Digital Storage

This sweet info-graphic by backup-masters Mozy shows just how much ancient physical technology (as far back as wax cylinders for music) it would take to hold what our pockets do today.

Beautifully displayed and awesome to look at.

[via Mozy]

Porn Keeping People from Firefox 3

Apparently the new awesome-bar, introduced in Firefox 3 has some people worried about getting caught with their naughty bits in their hands.

As the Mozilla team points out on their Blog of Metrics, the new and improved awesome-bar that crawls histories and bookmarks to better assist its auto-fill capabilities, has people worried about the exposure of certain hidden links.

Obviously these people are quite inexperienced at keeping their sensitive information hidden from prying eyes, but thankfully Firefox 3.5's private browsing feature will give them an easy way to keep their loved ones out of their... personal lives.

[via diTii and Mozilla]

Who's riding who....

'Nuff said.

Delicious suicide prevention

Chinese workers have covered a giant steel bridge with butter because officials are fed up with traffic jams caused by people who slow down to watch suicide victims leaping to their death.

Don't act like you could come up with a better idea.

Apparently a bridge in Guangzhou, south east China has too many people killing themselves on it. So, clearly, they spread it with butter so nobody could climb on it.

Obviously this is a problem for the police of the area.... because it creates a lot of traffic. Too many people in Guangzhou want to watch people kill themselves on their morning drive to work, so they had to come up with a genius solution.

Government spokesman Shiu Liang said: "We tried employing guards at both ends but that didn't work - and we put up special fences and notices asking people not to commit suicide here. None of it worked - and so now we have put butter over the bridge and it has worked very well. Nobody can get up there and anybody who tries either falls"

Butter.

If nothing else, they'll be more delicious.

[via Metro]

Remember Derrick Comedy?

They're a sketch comedy group from NYU, and were consistently making funny videos circa 2007. They had a stretch of some pretty epic sketches interspersed among other funny videos. After a while, it seemed like some of their stuff became pretty forced, and thus less contained fewer lulz. Many more videos (of varying degress of funny) can be found on their website, here.

Well, it turns out that Derrick Comedy is now coming out with a movie called Mystery Team. I'm hesitant when sketch comedy groups make full length feature films because it's be hard to stretch a 3 minute sketch into 90 minutes of cohesive, quality cinema. Just ask SNL, the premier sketch comedy group in the country, including the best writers and performers and even they don't have a great track record. Although I will say that The Blues Brothers and Wayne's World are full of win.

The trailer makes the movie appear as if it is simply sketch after sketch somewhat relating to the core plot of the movie. Hopefully it's just how the trailer is set up. Hard to tell if this will be good or not.

Shaq vs. World [Spoiler at End]

*Check the sidebar for a list of Vocab words that Shaq invents for this show. This will definitely be a continuous thing.

This is a real thing.

"Shaq vs." is a real live TV show. I'm watching it right now.

Shaq will take on the world's most elite athletes. Playing thier sports, battling On their fields. This man is on a mission to prove that he's not just one of basketball's best, but that he is one of the world's greatest athletes.

He's gonna take on Misty May and Kerri Walsh. "They're still girls" he says. This can only end badly for the big man.

Watch it on Hulu.

Update: It's better than I thought, they're pretending they didn't know Shaq was coming, and he's challenged them.

Update 2: This is huge. If he loses.... he must walk the whole beach in, and I quote:

Pink speedos, two sizes too small... with Shaq on the buns

Good thing there are sweet ass-cheerleaders and a huge crowd there too. This is an event, awesome.

Update 3: Serena Williams is now teaching Shaq how to grunt.


Spoiler Below

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You can watch dexter's lab here

Watch Dexter's Lab episodes , free, filled with awesome.

In this one they put on ant pants and use the shrink ray.

Fuck yeah.

(my connection here at home seems to hate video uploading, so you just get a picture of what it looks like while i'm watching it. tough life.)

Great... this is the apple store that I go to

Raymond Miller, apparently a Farfield area resident who gets help from the Stamford Town Center Apple Store, (just like me... and everyone i know...), was fiddlin with a little kitty porn when his G5 broke down.

Court documents show Miller came into the store Sunday afternoon because his Power Mac G5, a high-end desktop computer, was pulling photos from its hard drive and using them to overwrite thumbnails of other pictures in his photo libraries.

Obviously the answer was bringing his computer to the Genius Bar at the Stamford Mall to get it fixed. Because his Child Porn wasn't organizing properly.

Allow me to repeat that:

HE BROUGHT HIS COMPUTER TO THE GENIUS BAR. BECAUSE HIS CHILD PORN WASN'T WORKING PROPERLY.

Obviously this ended in disaster (for him, victory for us non-pedos) as the Genius found the prawns, called the police, and Miller was charged with one count of possession of child pornography, a class-B felony punishable by a minimum five-year prison sentence upon conviction.

There goes the neighborhood I guess.

[ Gizmodo via The Stamford Advocate ]

We'll fight them on the beaches

ThePirateBay's not dead yet.

After its ISP's ISP was sued to disconnect TPB , and the tracker experienced just about 3 hours of partial downtime, they're back up and running having simply switched to a new server set. (Though in case of drama, check out the META TORRENT of all the torrents, or the clone that's been put together based on the file.)


After the apparent setback at spectrial the tracker made the sudden announcement of sale to a questionably legitimate gaming company. Now said acquisition is in question, and though the official vote occurs on Thursday (tomorrow), who knows whether the shareholders will ok the purchase with the CEO mysteriously stepping down and the Global Factory Gaming suddenly being wrapped in controversy.

All I know is, TPB's blog includes a heartwrenching battle cry:

We shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, the Internets or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the Anon Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in Cerf's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.

And a fuckin sweet t-shirt, which is apparently going to be sent to the front lines of the enemy.

Thursday is judgement day, when the stockholders at GGF decide where TPB sails next.

Update:
Just in, the clone that's been put together based on the meta-torrent of the entire piratebay has now itself been threatened by the Romanian RIAA , for further updates you can probably just read TorrentFreak since they clearly have the most up-to-date information on the issue.

Enata Mutsumi, this man is irrelevant.

Translation Party takes the old game of feeding English stuff into a translator and then retranslating it back and forth from Japanese, and makes it automatic.

It uses some kind of science to come up with what it feels is the funniest final product. Then the little bar at the bottom makes fun of you a little.

It's fun to see how many times you can make it go. It seems to have trouble with curse words....

raise the roof

This has been in my bookmarks forever.

Simple, informative, and gives me everything i need to know about where to get my wackywavinginflatablearmflailingtubemen.

Includes helpful sections like:

What can I do with my wackywavinginflatablearmflailingtubeman?
Where can I find a wackywavinginflatablearmflailingtubeman?

That'd be route 2, in weekapaug.

It is now safe to take your ball-mittens off.

May as well start it off with a bang.

Ever wish you could get the weather AND get harassed at the same time?

Perfect, find out the fucking weather at thefuckingweather.com

Put in your zipcode and you're set.

turns out it's fucking nice in greenwich today, and the little tiny advice below the weather says that "It is safe to take your ball-mittens off."

Thank god.

this is why i'm blog

So here's where I'm gonna keep track of all the cool things I find on the internet.

Yes, Stumbleupon, Digg, and all that crap does this for me, but this is a way for me to organize it and display it how I feel, and to include stuff I want to remember. This site is as much for me to be able to remember stuff as it is for anyone reading it to get a chuckle out of it.


If you're friends with me I've probably sent you stuff like this in links on aim or something, so just consider this IM-Chat-With-Alex Digest and we'll all get along nicely.

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Also as a disclaimer, in case you care, the categories, pictures, and content, will be almost entirely random, changing, and often unrelated to eachother but you know... the internet's kinda like that anyway.